I possessed something once,
so pure, so clear; ever so true.
I imagined that I had the strength to live without it,
O' if only I knew.

My existence seems futile,
now that I have released
such inspiration, such strength, such soul;
my heart once beating strong; ceased.
Only now that I have opened my eyes
to exactly what I have lost;
Am I starting to feel, no longer numb,
my heart now pays the cost.

Perhaps I was not deserving enough,
to be granted, that of which I have dreamed;
Of eternal contentment, love and peace.
No longer paddling against the current of life; up stream.

The pain and hurt that I handed out,
when I let you fly away;
Is now returning unto me - despair,
Pain now here to stay.

(c) Leanne Elliott, 2009